Genesis and Sephiroth VS Girl Scouts
by Shinobi Saru Corp
Summary: As Genesis battles heroically to win cookies and the hearts of little girls, it's Sephiroth who gets dubbed Stephiroth Wielder of Sumo...


**Written by Tora**

* * *

_Ginger Rishta glared at the monster before of him._

_Ginger wasn't scared of the monster at all. In fact, he rather liked the idea of beating the pulp out of the monster._

_He casually swept some of his auburn hair to the side and then smirked at the Nine Headed monster._

_Ginger raised his sword high in the air and charged at the monster. He shouted, "IN THE GODDESS'S NAME, I WILL SMITE YOUR HEADS OFF AND BRING HER THE GOLDEN TOOTH!"_

_He slashed his rapier at the Nine Headed monster. The monster shrieked as one of the heads was cut clean off. The Hero shouted a blood curdling war cry and _

"Genesis, what are you writing?" Sephiroth said curiously.

Genesis Rhapsodos swore, and then quickly slammed the laptop close. "Nothing!" Genesis said rather hastily. Genesis put his hands up on his head and whistled softly.

Sephiroth arched an eyebrow high up. "Oh really," He said calmly. He quickly snatched the laptop from Genesis's lap.

"Nuuu! Don't open it!" Screamed Genesis. He quickly bounced up from the couch and tried to grab the laptop.

Sephiroth elbowed Genesis to the side and opened the laptop. Genesis cringed. Sephiroth's Mako blue eyes quickly scanned the monitor as a small smile formed on his mouth.

"You're writing a story…" Sephiroth said, still holding the computer out of Genesis's reach. Then Sephiroth frowned and he said darkly, "About Loveless…"

Genesis turned away from Sephiroth and curled up into a ball, clawing at his face and hair. "_Don't read anymore_!" Genesis said. He wished he could die on the spot. He wished he could melt into the sofa and never be born…

"Your character's name is… _Ginger_?! Rhapsodos, please tell me you're not writing some silly—"

"LALALALA!" Genesis screamed, trying in vain to make Sephiroth lose focus on the writing. "DON'T READ ANYMORE, SEPHIROTH, IT'S NOT WORTH IT!"

Sephiroth glanced in amusement at Genesis.

"If it's not worth it, why are you writing it?" Sephiroth tossed Genesis the laptop and shuffled off.

After making sure Sephiroth was gone, Genesis picked up the remote next to him and clicked the play button. Wild music began to blare from the speakers. Genesis enthusiastically bobbed his head to the music and then began to sing along with it.

He picked up his laptop and began to write again. But Genesis couldn't focus on writing. He gazed out of the window and watched a flock of birds fly away.

Genesis sighed and continued to bob his head to the music.

As one of his favourite songs began to play, he began to sing. "WIIIILD THANG!" He sang at the top of his lungs.

Genesis grabbed the remote and pretended he was rockin' the house down with his singing. He stood up and began to dance to the music. His eyes were closed, and he could see all of his loving fans. He imagined that his band was called, Loveless and that he sang all kinds of romantic songs and break up songs. His band was sort of like a karaoke band, who sang songs people wanted him to sing.

He bobbed his head little more vigorously. "YOU MAKE MAH HEART SANG!"

A girl swooned when Genesis pointed at her and winked flirtatiously at her. He dramatically pushed back some of his auburn hair and yelled through the remote, "YOU MAKE EVERYTHANG!"

Genesis turned up the music a little louder. Ohhh yeahhh! Forget about Elvis, Genesis Rhapsodos was the NEW King of Rock n' Roll! Except, people would call him… _The Hero of Rock n' Roll_…!

"_GROOVY_!" He was in the middle of swiveling his hips and doing a three-sixty when Sephiroth came into the room.

Like lightning, Genesis jumped to the sofa and pretended to write again.

Sephiroth glanced at Genesis and said, "Would you mind turning your music down, Elvis?"

Genesis gasped and said, "Elvis?! He didn't sing this song!"

"The way you were swinging your hips and looking like a drunken cactuar, reminded me of how Elvis danced, Rhapsodos…" Sephiroth mused quietly.

"Oh… so you saw that," Genesis mumbled in a quiet voice.

Sephiroth raised an eyebrow and said, "How could I _not_ 'see' you, when you're in the middle of the room, dancing like a drunkard, and screaming at the top of your lungs?"

"Sooo…" Genesis muttered quietly, his face growing red with embarrassment. "Technically you didn't see me screaming at the top of your lungs…"

Sephiroth leaned his back against the wall and sneered, "Rhapsodos, _you_ were screaming at the top of your lungs. Not me."

Genesis snapped peevishly as he threw the remote across the room, "That's what I said!" The remote banged against the wall, the batteries flying into the air.

"What…?" Sephiroth said, frowning hard. He calmly walked to the damaged remote and picked it up gingerly.

Genesis eagerly changed the subject, "So anyway, when is Angeal coming?"

Sephiroth glanced at the clock on the wall. "Probably—"

_Ding-dong_!

Genesis put the laptop to the side and raced to the door. He messed up the rug in his hastiness to get away from Sephiroth, and even tripped.

Genesis opened the door and said, "Come in, Angeal!"

Angeal stepped in stiffly. "Um, your music…"

Genesis blinked and said, "You don't like music?"

Angeal closed the door and growled deeply, "You like Taylor Swift…?"

Genesis seemed to realize what was playing, and blushed scarlet. "Umm, no not really… she's a bit of an upstart."

Genesis and Angeal walked into the living room. Angeal glanced at Genesis and asked, "Then why are you playing Taylor Swift?"

Genesis glanced quickly at Sephiroth and pointed a finger at him, "_He_ likes Taylor Swift."

Sephiroth glanced up at Genesis and blinked. He didn't object, but Angeal did. "Him? Like Swift?" He snorted incredulously.

Genesis made a mad scramble for the remote.

Sephiroth grabbed the remote and held it out of Genesis's reach. Genesis made hissy noise and tried to grab the remote.

Angeal looked wide eyed and said, "Wow, maybe Sephiroth really does like Taylor Swift…"

Genesis quickly stopped jumping up and down. He cleared his throat and pretended that he didn't like Swift. "Er," Genesis said awkwardly. "Yeshh, I don't like Taylor Swift… umm, Sephiroth likes her."

Angeal went to the stereo and looked down at the iPhone. "Um, Genesis, this is your Apple phone. No one else has a crimson phone case…."

Genesis threw up his hands in exasperation. "I'm sure _several_ people have crimson phone cases!"

Angeal turned the phone over and ran his fingers down the phone case. "What about when the case has the name, _HERO_ on it, in bold italics?"

Stomping his foot in anger, Genesis walked over to Angeal and tried grabbing the iPhone out of his hands. "Hang on, Gen, I want to see what else you have on here," Angeal said, elbowing Genesis out of the way.

"_DON'T YOU DARE_—"

"So… you like Mozart…" Angeal said raising an eyebrow. He continued to scroll through iTunes.

"I like Mozart," Sephiroth said quietly. He was still on Genesis's laptop (Genesis hadn't realized Sephiroth was on his laptop) and reading his writing work.

Angeal shrugged and said, "Okay, so maybe I shouldn't be shocked that Gen likes classical."

Genesis elegantly waved Angeal's comment aside and said, "Of _course_ you shouldn't be shocked. _I _did have a baby Mozart stuffed animal—" Genesis clapped his hands over his mouth and turned red.

Angeal gave Genesis a weird look, as he slowly inched away from the weird redhead. "Mozart wasn't a stuffed animal…"

"He is when he's a purple zebra and has rainbow hair, idiot!" Genesis spitefully spat back.

Angeal gave Sephiroth a helpless look. Sephiroth glanced up from the laptop and shrugged. Genesis also glanced at Sephiroth and shrieked, "SEPHIROTH! GET OFF!"

Genesis was about to dash over to Sephiroth, but Angeal quickly grabbed Genesis's arm. "Whoa, what's your problem, Gen?"

"DON'T LOOK—"

Sephiroth's eyebrows boinged upwards as he let out a snort of amusement. "You have a fan fiction account on ? Why am I not surprised what your username is… Angeal, guess his username."

Angeal, still holding onto the redhead's arm, thought about it. "Is it… Ginger?"

Sephiroth shook his head.

"GenesisTheGreatAndPowerful?"

"Nope."

"Hmm… HeroandtheGoddess?"

"Close…"

"Does it have something to do with Loveless?"

"Let go, Angeal! Sephiroth, SHUT UP!" Genesis shrieked, trying to get out of the strong grip of Angeal.

"Yes…" Sephiroth said quietly, ignoring enraged redhead.

"Oh… _TheHero_?"Angeal said dramatically, imitating Genesis when he would quote Loveless.

Sephiroth nodded and said back, "Correct. Really, Rhapsodos, that has to be the _dumbest _name ever."

Genesis was about to reply strongly, when Angeal said, "By the way, on my way here, I ran into a couple girl scouts about this tall," he raised his hand up in the air until it was about three feet off the ground. "They were pretty aggressive. They chased me all the way over here."

Genesis scratched is head and said in a bad mood, "Little piranhas! Did they want you to buy cookies?"

Angeal shrugged and walked over to the sofa. "Something like that." He sat down next to Sephiroth and tried peaking over the laptop. "Oh Gaia," Angeal murmured softly. "Tell me you aren't putting _that_ up on Fan Fiction, Genesis…"

Genesis was about to let out a strong cutting remark when the doorbell rang.

Genesis gave Angeal a suspicious look. "You didn't invite that brat did you?"

"Brat?" Angeal said, glancing up at Genesis.

"Zack Fair," Genesis said, as if he were saying 'a dead rat'.

Angeal shook his head and said, "I don't recall inviting Zack. Maybe it's the girl scouts from heck."

Genesis's eye lit up. "Cookies!" With that he darted out of the living room and into the entryway.

Genesis swung open the door and said, "COOKIES!"

There were three girls. About the height Angeal said they were. One girl was wearing a tutu, with jeans under it. She had a Candy Crusher shirt, and two blonde pigtails. The second girl had two very large goopy things coming from her nose. She kept snorting the greenish yoyos into her nose, only for the yoyos to bounce out again. The third girl had lost her two front teeth and had glasses. Her huge owlish eyes blinked rapidly and her glasses kept slipping down her nose.

"Ahem," the girl said with the owl eyes. She raised her clipboard and said, "We are the Top Secret Girl Scouts, and we would—"

Genesis's wrinkled up his nose and said, "Wait, wait, what makes you top secret?"

"My mom said not to talk to strangers," The girl with two green yoyos said in a spacey voice.

The girl with pigtails glanced at the girl with owl eyes. "Hey! You weren't supposed to tell that we were top secret! What's the point of being top secret, if you tell people we're top secret, Alysa?"

Alysa turned to the girl with pigtails. "He asked us who we were, Lucy!"

Lucy stamped her foot, her pig tails bouncing wilding around. "He did not!" She protested.

"Um," Genesis said rather awkwardly. "Aren't you guys going to ask me if I want cookies?"

Alysa gazed at Genesis, rubbing her chin. "I don't think so…" She said quietly, more to herself than to Genesis.

Genesis looked indignantly at the girls and said, "Why not?!"

Angeal came up behind Genesis and said, "What's with the commotion?"

Alysa didn't take her freaky gaze off Genesis.

_Shiva, she'd be a good match for Seph_, Angeal thought, looking at the creepy blue gaze Alysa was giving Genesis.

"I don't think I like you…" Alysa said simply.

"Why you little—" Genesis started, but Angeal quickly shoved Genesis hard and snarled in his ear, "_Watch your language_!"

"My mom said not to cuss," Yoyo girl said. She sniffed hard, sending the green balls up her nose again.

Genesis cringed; as he watched the yoyos come back down her nose. "I'll teach you some new swear words if you give me cookies," Genesis said hopefully.

Angeal glared at Genesis and said, "Gen, we don't want their mothers chasing after us with their purses full of bricks."

"What makes us so secretive," Alysa said in a businesslike manner. "Is the fact that our parents don't know we're selling cookies."

"Ah. Law abiding citizens…" Genesis said, arching his eyebrow high. "How 'bout them cookies?"

Just then, Sephiroth came to the door. All three girls were in a trance.

"H-her hair is… pretty…" Yoyo girl said.

"Her eyes are beautiful," Alysa said.

"She's just so pretty," Lucy said.

"What the heck…" Genesis said.

Sephiroth looked wide eyed in horror at the girls.

Alysa said in a dazed manner, "Ma'am we'd like you to buy some cookies…"

Sephiroth glared at Alysa. Sephiroth shoved Genesis and Angeal back into the house and shut the door. Except, Alysa stuck her foot into the door, and said, "Please buy some cookies! You're so pretty!"

Sephiroth lowered his eyes in disgust at the little girl and tried slamming the door again. But this time Genesis stuck his foot in and said, "No! Seph! Don't shut the door! I want some cookies."

"Steph?" Lucy said. She tasted the name and said it again. "Steph… you have a very pretty name, Miss Steph."

The girl with yoyos eyes lit up. "I'm going to name my cat Steph!"

Sephiroth's lip curled.

"_Steph_…?" Angeal snickered. "Go on, _Steph_, why don't you buy some cookies!"

Genesis pushed Angeal and snarled, "_I_ want to buy the cookies!"

Alysa turned to Genesis and gave him the look of doom. "I said I'm not selling you cookies, you freak."

Genesis recoiled back and said, "Freak?! My dear friend, I am not a _freak_. This 'woman' right here," Genesis gestured to Sephiroth. "Is the freak."

The girl yoyo kicked Genesis hard in the shin. "How dare you, Mr.! Miss Steph is like an angel sent from heaven!"

Genesis yelped and began to hop up and down, clutching at his shin. "_Shiva_! What's possessing these girls?!"

"Sir, I don't believe that the fundamental democracy is helping society," The girl with yoyos said.

Genesis stopped hopping up and down. He gave Angeal an inquisitive look. "What?" Genesis asked.

The girl shrugged. "I don't know. Mommy and daddy sometimes use big words. Mommy says that saying big words makes you smarter…"

"Uh-huh," Genesis said skeptically.

Sephiroth pushed passed Genesis and Angeal, and walked out of the house.

The girls stared at Sephiroth, his long silver hair flowing like silver in the wind. They gaped as Sephiroth walked down the sidewalk.

"F-follow her…" Alysa said in a dreamy like voice.

The three girls quickly jumped off the front porch and pulled their wagons full of cookies after them.

"_Shiva_!" Genesis said. "They're getting away!"

Angeal looked at the three shorties trailing after Sephiroth.

"So?" Angeal asked.

Genesis ran his hand through his auburn hair and said seriously, "I have a plan…"

"Crud."

"Hear me well, Angeal…" Genesis said, taking in a deep breath. "I am going to stalk the girls and steal their cookies."

Angeal gave Genesis a tired look. "Genesis, _please_ stay out of trouble!"

Genesis shook his head. He walked back into the entryway and slipped on his boots. "I _must_ get those cookies. Moreover, I _must_ get the girls to favour me. Not Sephiroth. Gaia, how can they like that creepy freako?"

Angeal watched Genesis put on his crimson coat. "So… you just want to get the little girls to like you… you don't give a darn for the cookies, do you?"

Genesis gave Angeal a ferocious glare. "Not true! I am going to _steal every single cookie_!"

Angeal sighed and rubbed his temples. "Shiva, I'm getting too old for this…"

"You're coming with me?" Genesis said in surprise.

"I'm keeping your bottom out of trouble, that's what," Angeal said. He too put on his shoes and quickly got ready.

Genesis grabbed Rapier and said to himself, "Just in case I have to fight for the cookies."

Angeal glanced at Genesis. "You're gonna…" Angeal stopped and then snapped, "Don't be a doofus, Gen! Those girls are just seven or nine!"

Genesis shrugged and said, "Maybe I should act the hero and fight Sephiroth. That'll surely win the girls to me. Then they'll give me free cookies."

Angeal did a facepalm and said, "Gen, they're going to watch the fight and root for Sephiroth…"

Genesis gave Angeal a wicked grin. "Girls like magic, right? Sephiroth won't stand a chance when I use my magic!"

Genesis opened the door again and strutted out.

Sephiroth was simply trying to get to his car…

But the three girls had quickly raced ahead of Sephiroth and planted themselves in front of the car door.

Sephiroth glared down at the girls, his lip curling and he made a sort of growling noise.

"Miss Steph, we love you and we idolize you. Will you please buy cookies?" Yoyo girl said.

Sephiroth tried to gently push the girls aside, but they didn't budge.

General Sephiroth, Silver SOLDIER, First Class in ShinRa wasn't sure what to do with the three small girl scouts.

Should he shove them harder? Or should he give them a scare? Kill them? No, that would make things more complicated, and they were only seven or so.

Sephiroth tried pushing them aside again, this time with a little more force.

"We are not moving until you buy cookies, Miss Steph," Alysa said in a stately manner.

Genesis was watching everything from the bushes. The leaves tickled his neck and the branches poked and prodded at him. In a bad mood, Genesis tried to swat the flies away from his face. But all he succeeded was swatting Angeal in the face.

"Get your stupid elbow out of my face, Rhapsodos!" Angeal hissed, trying to shove Genesis away.

Genesis snapped back, "Then stop stomping on my foot, you great big gorilla!"

Angeal curled his lip and turned to Genesis, "I'll show you stomping!" He raised his foot up and stomped hard.

Tears came to Genesis's eyes as he let out a swear word. "How dare you!" Genesis said, shoving Angeal hard.

It was Angeal's turn to shove Genesis. Angeal shoved Genesis _so_ hard; Genesis tumbled out of the protection of the bushes. He tripped and fell on his bottom.

The three girls and Sephiroth looked up and gave Genesis an amused look.

Lucy smirked and said, "Look at the great fool!" She quickly dug in her pocket and produced an iPhone. She quickly snapped a picture of Genesis on his bottom.

Seeing what Lucy had done, Yoyo girl and Alysa decided they too wanted pictures of this First Class ShinRa SOLDIER on his behind.

A smile slipped on Sephiroth's face, as he too pulled his phone out and snapped a picture of poor Genesis.

Genesis quickly tried to regain his dignity, by bouncing up and brandishing rapier. He laughed madly and said, "I CHALLENGE THEE, O GENERAL SEPHIROTH!"

"S-Sehh… Sephh… Stephiroth?" Alysa said, raising an eyebrow at Genesis. Alysa turned to Sephiroth and said, "Miss Steph, is that your real name? Stephiroth? I can understand why you want to be called Steph."

Lucy jabbed Alysa hard and snapped, "Show respect to Miss Stephiroth, Alysa!"

Alysa pushed up her glasses and said calmly, "I think I'm going to stick with calling her Miss Steph…"

Lucy pulled up her tutu and said in a posh way, "I shall call her Stephiroth, since it was her given name."

"_Miss_ Stephiroth," Corrected Yoyo girl.

"Her given name wasn't 'Miss Stephiroth' it was Stephiroth!" Retorted Lucy.

Yoyo girl simply said, "It's Miss Stephiroth to you, since you're an adolescent girl!"

"I'm not Adolf lesson! I'm a girl!" Lucy said proudly, putting a hand over her heart.

"_Adol-escent_," Yoyo girl slowly said. "It was a fait accompli, stupidhead."

"F-f-fate complex?!" Lucy said.

Alysa cleared her throat and sighed, "Lucy, Lula is misusing words again…"

Genesis was growing impatient. "Hey!" Genesis shouted. "I have a _sword_! I'm going to fight!"

Alysa gave Genesis a bored look. "Nice cardboard sword, mister."

Genesis grew angry and shouted, "_Listen_! At least you acknowledge that I'm a guy! _She_ with the silver hair," Genesis pointed at Sephiroth. "_Is not a girl_!"

The girls gave little gasps and all shouted, "HOW DARE YOU CALL HER A GUY! GUYS ARE STUPID! WHO NEEDS GUYS IN THIS WORLD?! That is the worst insult _anyone_ could get! You are such a _guy_, mister-freak!"

Genesis tossed his head up and crowed with laughter. "Hear that, _Stephiroth_?! I'm more the man than you are! _Buuurrrnn_!" Genesis snorted with laughter.

The little girls charged at Genesis.

Genesis shrieked, as the girls brought out cheap makeup and ribbons. They galloped at Genesis, their hands outstretched to catch Genesis.

Genesis backed up and said, "Whoa, whoa! Don't come _anywhere_ near me!"

The girls glared at Genesis and bared their teeth at him. "Don't insult our queen from heaven!"

Sephiroth calmly stepped between Genesis and the girls. He was holding his long sword, Masamune.

Genesis smirked and said rudely, "Come to fight have you, O General!"

Sephiroth glared at the effeminate redhead and raised his sword up.

The girl scouts backed away in awe. They whispered to each other while staring at the two fighters.

"Was Masamune in your car? Was that why you were trying to get into your car?" Genesis asked.

"Mah…ssa… Mahsuh…" Lucy tried saying. She frowned hard and tried pronouncing the word again. "Mus…sass… umm…"

Lula said, "If Miss Stephiroth wins, we shall dub her Stephiroth Wielder of Sumo!"

Genesis gave Lula a wicked grin and said, "_Sumo_?"

Sephiroth curled his lips and slashed at Genesis. Genesis was unprepared for the sudden attack, but he quickly repelled the slash.

The battle had begun.

Genesis wildly slashed at Sephiroth, who wildly parried the slashes.

Then Genesis yelled, "_FIRAGA_!" He threw fireballs at Sephiroth.

Sephiroth dodged and slashed the balls of fire. Then Sephiroth charged at Genesis, his narrowed eyes glared at Genesis.

Sephiroth was about to cut Genesis to pieces, but he stopped when he heard screaming.

Sephiroth and Genesis stopped fighting. They turned to see three women screaming in horror as they watched the fight.

The three girl scouts ran to their mothers and embraced them tightly.

Lucy said, "Mother! Miss Steph is protecting us!"

Her mother said in alarm, "Who's Steph?!"

Lula said pointing to the silver haired SOLDIER, "She's Miss Stephiroth!

Lula's mother put her hands to her chest and said worriedly, "_Stephiroth_?! What a name!"

"Mari, that woman was protecting our children from that madman!" Alysa's mother said.

Alysa said, "Yeah, that redhead is a freak! He keeps saying Miss Steph is a guy!"

Mari snarled, "What a terrible insult! Come along, Women of Freedom, we must help our sister in need!"

Alysa's mother rolled up her sleeves and took her purse off her shoulder. "You stay here, Alysa. And don't even _think_ about moving! You're not off the hook yet!"

Lucy's mother nodded grimly and sad, "Mari, you take the left. Sue, you take the right. I'll take the middle."

Sue said to Lucy's mother, "Be careful, Beatrice, the madman has a sword!"

Alysa said, "Don't you want to call the police, mom?"

Sue shook her head and gritted her teeth. "No. The police with only make things worse."

Beatrice pulled her sleeves up and brought out her purse. "Women, it's been a pleasure. If we die, we will continue our ways of Women of Freedom," Beatrice said calmly. Then Beatrice shrieked, "FOR WOMEN OF FREEDOM AND FOR FEMINISTS!"

Genesis was rooted to the spot. He couldn't move. His mouth was wide open as he watched the three women with their purses full of bricks charging after him.

They flailed their purses and flogged Genesis hard. Screaming their feminist war cries, they battled heroically, bringing their purses down onto Genesis.

"Ow! Genesis shouted angrily. He tried swinging his sword at the purses, but he couldn't get a swing in! "S-Sephiroth help!"

"Leave poor Stephiroth alone!" Sue said swinging her purse at Genesis's back.

"Stephiroth protected our girls!" Mari said.

"You will pay," Beatrice boomed.

"SHIVA!" Wailed Genesis. He held up his hands and he begged for mercy.

The women beat him until Genesis was curled up on the ground moaning.

Beatrice straightened up and said calmly to Sephiroth, "Stephiroth, how can we repay you?"

Sephiroth, who had been watching all of this from the side, was giving the women an amused look.

"Cookies," He said quietly.

Sue sighed and said, "Oh, Stephiroth! Your voice is so rich! Have you ever thought about going into singing?!

Sephiroth shook his head.

Beatrice patted Sephiroth on the back and said, "Steph, you really should think about singing! With a voice like that you'll hit Broadway in no time!"

Sephiroth made a low growling noise. He bent his head down in shame and curled his lip.

Sue said, "Girls would you please come here!"

The three girls came over.

"Yes?" Lucy asked shyly.

Mari said calmly, "Give Steph all the cookies."

Alysa pushed up her glasses and protested, "But we have to sell them to other people!"

Sue snapped," Alysa MacTroy, this fine woman just saved you from the crazy redhead. Miss Steph asked for cookies."

Beatrice shook her finger at Lula and said, "Not to mention, you never told us you were going out to sell Girl Scout cookies."

Lucy wailed, "B-b-but we made them!"

Mari said, "We know you girls put a lot of effort into it, but what's better than to give them to Miss Steph?"

Alysa sighed and pulled her cart of cookies up to Sephiroth. "Thank you, Miss Steph for protecting us from the creepy freak."

Sephiroth glared at Alysa.

Sephiroth hadn't intended to be the 'hero'. All he wanted was his sword from his car. And then that brat Genesis had to get himself in trouble. Sephiroth was merely trying to stop Genesis from making a fool out of himself. But of course, Genesis managed to make a fool out of himself. Not to mention he made Sephiroth a fool. Really, what could be more embarrassing then being followed by girls and being called a girl?

"Pretty eyes," Alysa said, gazing into the Mako coloured eyes.

Lucy came up to Sephiroth and pulled her cart up. She looked up into Sephiroth's glaring eyes and gave him a big hug

"I hope I can meet you again, angel from heaven! I'll be good so that way when I die I'll see you in heaven!" Lucy cried into Sephiroth's black leather coat.

In disgust, Sephiroth pushed Lucy away and crossed his arms.

"Lucy," Beatrice said soothingly. "You mustn't be attached to Steph. She's feeling tired after battling the redhead."

Genesis glanced up and muttered quietly, "Shiva, why does Seph get all the attention?"

Luckily no one heard Genesis, except for Sephiroth. Sephiroth gave Genesis a 'you like this kind of attention?!' look.

Lula came up to Sephiroth and said, "Goodbye, Miss Stephiroth. You are Stephiroth Wielder of Sumo."

The moms gave each other a weird disgusted look.

Mari whispered to Beatrice, "Her sword is named Sumo?!"

Genesis found it highly unfair that the mothers didn't flip out about Sephiroth's sword. His sword was much longer then Rapier was.

The mothers hustled the girls away from Sephiroth. They turned to Sephiroth and nodded and said, "Thank you, Steph! Thank you so much for protecting our children!"

Once the mothers and the girl scouts were out of sight, Sephiroth and Genesis let out a swear word at the exact same time.

Angeal came out from the bushes and said, "I cannot wait to tell Zack…"

Sephiroth glared down at Genesis and snarled, "Brat."

Genesis got up and rubbed his head. "Shut up! I just wanted those cookies!"

Sephiroth stepped aside and said, "They're all yours."

Three wagons of cookies seemed to glisten in the sun. A hallelujah seemed to come from somewhere, as Genesis's eyes filled with tears.

"Thank you, Sephiroth!" Genesis said gratefully. He rushed to the cookies, but Sephiroth stuck out his leg, making Genesis trip and fall.

"OW!" Genesis yelled angrily. "What in Shiva's name was that for?!" He got up and massaged his hurt knee.

Sephiroth glared down at Genesis. "For putting me through this humiliation."

Genesis spat back, "You brought it down on yourself, _Stephiroth_!"

Sephiroth snapped, "Don't call me Stephiroth!"

Sephiroth aimed a kick at Genesis and walked off back to the house.

Angeal helped Genesis up and said, "You're ridiculous, Gen."

Genesis didn't say anything back, but he and Angeal lugged the wagons back to the house.

Once back at the house, Genesis sat down and opened a box of chocolate chip cookies. He chewed thoughtfully on the cookie. He was feeling a great deal better and was now munch on his second cookie.

Sephiroth came in with Genesis's laptop. Genesis was about to object, but Sephiroth didn't appear to be looking on his fan fiction site.

"Rhapsodos, put the cookies down…" Sephiroth said, glaring intently at the monitor screen.

Genesis ignored Sephiroth and began munching on a third cookie.

Angeal came in and said, "I want some cookies too." He was about to grab a cookie, but Sephiroth grabbed Angeal's wrist and shook his head.

Genesis glared at Sephiroth and said with a mouth stuffed full of cookies, "Angeal can have some, Sephiroth. Heck, you can have some too."

"Glad that I have the permission to eat them," Sephiroth said darkly.

Genesis blinked sleepily and said, "I'm tired. Getting beat up is a lot more tiring than beating people up."

Angeal hissed to Sephiroth, "Why can't I have some cookies?!"

The box of cookies slipped from Genesis's hands as he closed his eyes sleepily.

Sephiroth kept staring at Genesis and then said, "The cookies have sleeping powder in them."

Angeal's eyes were wide as he stared in awe at the redhead snoring. "How did you know they were sleeping cookies?"

"I found Alysa's criminal records online," Sephiroth said simply. "Apparently she's a bit of a wanted criminal. She makes homemade cookies and sells them. They're quick working sleeping cookies. It says that Alysa often gives away sample cookies first. Once the people fall asleep, she robs them of their wallet money."

Angeal thought of the scary girl with the owl eyes. A wanted criminal. "Wouldn't she want credit cards?"

Sephiroth shook his head. "Not necessarily, Angeal. Being young, the easy cash is a lot more tempting then the credit cards. And if she's really that smart, then she'll know that stealing credit cards is more dangerous. If she went shopping, the cashier would probably ask for her license."

Angeal looked back at Genesis and said, "Okay, you've seriously got me scared. What about the mothers? Do they know?"

Sephiroth smiled. "Of course. They've been arrested for manslaughter in the sixties. No doubt that they encourage their children to be wild and creative with their ideas."

Angeal picked up a box of sugar cookies. "Think Gen would be mad if I took a box to give to Zack?"

Sephiroth shrugged and said, "Probably not. Besides, I was the one who got him the cookies."

**_THE END_**

* * *

****BONUS PART: MASCULINITY PROBLEMS IN SHINRA.

Note: This short has nothing to do with the girl scouts. In ShinRa there are only a handful of people who would _ever dare_ wear a pink shirt. And even the handfuls of people who are doing it, are doing it out of being competitive. As you read this you should probably ignore the fact that ShinRa appears to have lots of pink shirts in stock.

_Zack Fair shows up wearing a pink shirt_.

Zack: Sup guys!

Cloud: What are you wearing, Zack?

Zack: Um, a pink shirt?

Reno: Why are you wearing a pink shirt?

Zack: It was a gift from Aerith.

Cloud:…..

Reno:…

Cloud: Well if you're wearing a pink shirt, maybe I should wear a pink shirt to support you! Zack and I are very sure in our masculinity points. Pink is a masculine colour.

_Cloud finds a pink shirt and puts it on_

Reno: If you guys are going all out in pink, I think I'll put a pink shirt on. I'm as man as _any_ of you guys.

_Reno finds a pink shirt and puts it on_

Reno: _WHODAMAN_?!

Zack:…..

Cloud: I guess we're all supporting each other. We're all men here.

Zack: Oh, no, I was the first one wearing a pink shirt. I _have_ to find a hot pink shirt.

_Zack searches for a hot pink shirt. Zack finds a hot pink shirt and puts it over his other pink shirt_.

Cloud: Why are you wearing two?!

Zack: 'Cuz it means I get more masculinity points for wearing two pink shirts!

Reno: Is this how it's going to be? In that case…

_Reno searches for a hot pink shirt_

Cloud: Hey! I thought this was supposed to be a supporting thing for Zack!

Reno: Not anymore! Cloud, help me find a hot pink shirt with sparkles. I have to outdo Zack.

Cloud: Um, no. I'm not going to have you both with more masculinity points than me. I'm tired of not being the masculine one around here.

_Cloud searches for a hot pink shirt with sparkles and frills_.

_Genesis walks in_.

Genesis: What the heck are you guys up to? And why are you all wearing pink shirts?"

Cloud: Stay out of it, Rhapsodos. This is a war about who has more guy points.

Genesis: Uh, no… nobody is going to win with me here…

_Genesis quickly finds the sparkling pink shirt with frills that everyone else was trying to find. Genesis puts the shirt on_

Genesis: _BOOM, BABY! _MORE THE MAN THAN ANY OF YOU!

Reno: Aw, Gen, that's not fair! I was trying to find that shirt!

Cloud: Nu-huh! I was trying to find a shirt _just_ like that.

Zack: Guys… I was the first one wearing the pink shirt. I should get the masculinity points…

Reno: Shaddup, Zack! You're already six foot three and buff! You don't need any more masculinity points!

Zack: But I want more!

_Cloud holds up a pink scarf_

Cloud: Ahaha, Suckers! Look what I found! I'm _totally_ more the man when I put this baby on!

Zack: Hey! Give that to me, Cloud!

Cloud:_ Thbbbb_! I don't think so!

_Genesis tries snatching the scarf from Cloud_

Genesis: Strife, give me the scarf, or I'll beat the pulp out of you!

Reno: Hey, Cloud! I'll buy you lunch if you give me the scarf!

_Cloud wraps the scarf around his neck _

Cloud: I think my man points just went up by a thousand.

Reno: Look what I found! This totally beats your thing, Strife!

_Reno holds up a pink hat with a huge pink feather_

Cloud: I'll trade you, Reno!

Reno: Forget about it, Strife!

_Genesis grabs the hat and starts tugging._

Reno: Let go, Gen! I had the hat first!

Genesis: You're not worthy of wearing such a thing!

_Zack comes in and also pulls on the hat_

Zack: I don't have sparkles or frills! I want the hat!

_Cloud comes in to join the tug of war_

Cloud: Give it here!

Genesis: Don't you dare make me hurt you all!

Zack: _Ha_! A skinny fool like you?!

Genesis: I'm not skinny! I'm very muscular for your information.

Cloud: Like I really wanted that information, ya wimp.

Genesis: _Shut up, Strife_!

Cloud: Nanananan, make me!

Reno: Heya, will you guys knock it off?!

Genesis: Then let me have the hat!

Reno: Wow, I'm not incharge of who gets the hat. As a matter of fact, _I _get the hat. So there!

Zack: Buncha baby brats!

Genesis: Fair, watch who you call brats, you brat!

Zack: What are you doing here anyway?!

Genesis: It's none of your biz!

Zack: It is our biz to know your biz, because your biz is as much of our biz as it is yours.

Genesis: What…?

Zack: Lemme repeat it, it is our biz to know—

_Sephiroth and Angeal come in_

Angeal: What…

Sephiroth: What in Shiva's name…

_Everyone freezes _

Cloud: We're fighting over guy points…!

Sephiroth:….

Angeal: What… in Gaia's name…

Sephiroth: Is going on?

Reno: Strife just told you. We're fighting over guy points.

Genesis: I'm more the man of them, Sephiroth. You can tell, right?

Sephiroth:….

Angeal: Why me…?

Zack: Angeal, can I _please_ have the hat?

Cloud: Don't let him have it! He already has two pink shirts on!

Angeal:….

Genesis: Sephiroth, tell them I'm more masculine then the twits!

Sephiroth: Good Gaia, I'm out of here…

Angeal: Right behind you, Sephiroth, right behind you…

**_THE END!_**


End file.
